Ben Hollands has admitted he “hit a wall” last week after his son Elijah was admitted to hospital following his much-publicised mental health episode.
The father posted a raw and emotional admission on social media, saying he had been “carrying too much” and needed to “let go” to best help his family move forward.
WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE: Voss defends staff over Hollands saga
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Hollands was admitted to hospital last Monday night, four days after his erratic and concerning performance against Collingwood.
Carlton said that Hollands suffered a mental health episode, but there was widespread commentary about how he was allowed to stay on the field for so long.
On Thursday, Carlton coach Michael Voss launched a passionate defence of his team, claiming they had been “bullied”. The club have since submitted the findings of their investigation to the AFL for review.
His father Ben and brother Ollie, also a Carlton player, publicly showed their support with emotional social media posts last week.
But Ben, who played eight AFL games for Richmond in 1999, has revealed the toll it took on himself as a father and leader.
“Last Thursday, I hit a wall,” he wrote on Instagram on Monday.
“Deep down, I knew it was coming. A lot of people had warned me… but it was my boys, strong, wise beyond their years, who said it most clearly.
“What I was striving for didn’t need to be the priority.
“I thought I was leading. Being strong. Setting the example.
“But in that moment, my leadership had to look different.
“It was simpler. It was healing. It was peace. It was rest.
“Not just for me, for all of us.
“As a man, and as a dad, I’ve carried too much more times than I can count.
“But I’m learning, truly learning, the importance of letting go.
“Of sharing the load. Of stepping back. Of remaining strong in my faith in the pause.”
Ben went onto to say that he is feeling better after the much-needed rest.
“I took that rest… and I feel it,” he continued.
“Clearer. Lighter. Rejuvenated.
“And in that space, I’ve been able to see the past week for what it really was – an incredible outpouring of love, support, and strength around us.
“As I continue to lead my family, I now understand something deeper:
“Leadership isn’t just knowing when to step forward, it’s knowing when to let go.
“To trust. To hand things over. To seek rest when it’s needed.
“This journey, back to alignment, to restoration, isn’t something to carry alone.
“It’s something to share.”
Meanwhile, the AFL will take its time on the report from Carlton, given the delicacy of the issues involved.
Asked about the league’s review of the Carlton report, AFL general manager of football performance Greg Swann offered his best wishes to Hollands after a “harrowing week for him and his family”.
He added his fellow AFL football department boss Laura Kane and her team were reviewing the Carlton report, which the league requested.
“There’s no rush on this. This is a really delicate matter … I haven’t seen anything play out like this, like it has publicly in this instance,” Swann said on Monday.
“So it will take as long as it does.”
– With AAP
If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. For further information about depression contact beyondblue on 1300224636 or talk to your GP, local health professional or someone you trust.
