Aussie Bloggers

According to the Sydney Morning Herald - scroll down, it is the second story on the page - Jodhi Meares won’t be bothering to show up for tonight’s live finale. She’ll be joining the rest of us on the couch to watch it from home. Alex Perry and Charlotte Dawson will be covering for her.

Never fear, we will be live blogging the *not* entirely live final here on the blog. So cuddle up with your Demelza voodoo doll and a large supply of pins, as there is a 50% chance she will win this, therefore proving the rule that beyotches always triumph, especially in the fashion world.

Back in about 15 for the sort of live event!

And we’re back. Jodhi’s voice reads us some very dodgy poetry while we recap the series. Then she appears in a pre-filmed segment and then Charlotte appears to apologise that Jodhi can’t be there. She’s wearing some odd dress by Alex Perry which she seems to have been poured into.

And what the heck is Napoleon wearing? Charlotte asks the panel if they’ve made up their mind and they pretend like they haven’t. Unfortunately I have - after they kicked out Sam who was my favourite and Alex did a terrible performance for Malan Breton stumbling around in those heels, I think Demelza is probably going to win.

The girls are brought out one by one and wow, look at Sam! Alex looks great - Demelza looks a little odd. Could be all that weight she lost.

If the viewers decide I am sure that it won’t be Demelza - she has truly ruined this show for most of the viewers with her bitchy nastiness. However she has apparently lost quite a bit of weight. She says “you know” a lot.

Alex has dyed her hair away from the red. Apparently Alex has found out that she has scoliosis (hope I spelled that right) and she’s been working with people about that.

Charlotte addresses the bullying. Slap her hard, Charlotte! Or not. Demelza pretends like she wants to apologize but she’s rolling her eyes when she’s talking so it seems completely like excrement to me - she does apologize to Alamela publicly. And Charlotte doesn’t seem convinced either.

Now Charlotte gives Alex a bit of nastiness over the food sabotage but it doesn’t last long either. I have to say it is very difficult to look at Charlotte in that dress - I need sunglasses, it is very glary! Here’s hoping she is changing during the ad break.

So I think they made a huge mistake kicking off Sam because she looks incredible - way better than Demelza. Now they have Charlotte sitting in a bizarre chair which looks like it should be involved in S & M. Demelza has lost a lot of weight in her face.

Bowie Wong liked Alex better and booked her. But they also booked Demelza. Wayne Cooper books Alex and not Demelza. She doesn’t peel off his face with her fingernails - lucky Wayne! And then Demelza does a crying. Nope, I don’t feel sorry for her, not one bit.

Then they go to Bec and Bridge who book Demelza, not Alex. Then off to Alex Perry who books Demelza and Alex. They’re dead even. Then they go to Silence Is Golden. They book Alex and not Demelza. Off to Flamingo Sands and they don’t book Demelza but they do book Alex. That puts her two ahead.

Gee, Demelza is completely cured of bitchiness isn’t she - saying she hopes Alex falls. Oh please Karma, bite this bitch in the ass and don’t let her win.

Apparently Brian McFadden will be performing this evening. I said a few weeks ago that I would watch that Football Superstar to see if I can work out why Delta likes him. It must be something hidden deep inside because I am none the wiser, especially after his little giving the finger to a football stadium full of people who were taunting him trick. If Brian happens to be reading this (and of course he is, duh!) my advice is to be extra nice to people who are taunting you in future.

Something happened to the U ads as well - new music that almost sounds like Beyonce or something. I don’t like the new music so much.

Now it is time to see what happened at Fashion Week. Alex goes to Wayne Cooper - and so do several of the judges. Oh look, there’s Jodhi, I’d almost forgotten she existed. But what kind of hairstyles are those Wayne? Oh poor Demelza whinges that she was so bored and Alex’s walk was shit. Someone get her a tissue.

So when Demelza gets to walk, she does very well. All that impatience has done good things for her - and she did the angry walk probably because she was really mad that she had to watch Alex in two shows she didn’t get booked for.

Alex Perry makes beautiful things. He still loves Alice from last year and she kicks off his show. Alex has trouble with her walk - Demelza does the bobblehead then trips twice hello Karma! - and then tries not to cry about it.

Next is Bowie Wong who puts his models in bizarre blonde wigs and Alex has a wardrobe malfunction. Then Flamingo Sands and Alex does swimsuit.

Apparently you can still vote. And next they will be having a catwalk show.

So all the girls will be doing runway now. Oh sorry, I watched that. Not sure what the heck kind of music much of that was supposed to be. It was clear that Leiden and Sam were crowd favourites.

Charlotte talks to the girls which is very cringeworthy from my perspective. Sam is Australia’s favourite model which only gives her $5,000 - thanks to the cheapskates behind that tiny prize amount - she deserves a lot more!

Then they have a bitchy and tears segment which I slept through because we’ve seen all that before. And it seems like Alex Perry went to sleep as well because Charlotte asks him something and he wasn’t even listening to her. Now Henry Roth appears to pimp Project Runway.

Now they have a too quick fashion show with 3 models from Top Model and 3 designers from Project Runway have dressed them. That happened so quick I barely saw the clothes or the designers. There’s some terrible camera work on tonight’s show.

Maybe sometime in the next hour or so they might bother to tell us who has won - there’s just under 40 minutes left according to the Austar box. Looks like voting is no more also but they haven’t actually said so yet..

So now they’re going to look at the girls portfolio - and again Jodhi appears - who is she again? Don’t we all think Jodhi should not get a vote if she can’t be bothered to turn up to the finale? I mean she didn’t have to host, couldn’t she just sit there on the panel? Let’s get a new host next year, Fox 8.

Alex Perry and Jonathon have a little run in. And now the votes are about to close. Yeah right. I think the voting might just be a money making thing and not have much of an effect at all.

Geez that Beyonce style singing on the U ad is irritating - I used to love that ad and now, not.. And speaking of irritating, so is the Napoleon Perdis ad. I really don’t like that guy. And anyone spending that kind of money on a cleanser, toner and moisturiser should have their head read.

The lines are now closed. They look back at Alex’s portfolio. Charlotte is back in the bondage chair. Alex has a massive fringe today which is a bit of a pity - no eyebrows. Alex Perry and Jonathon have a new argument. After the break there is apparently a performance with a “couple” of surprises. Yawn.

And now Brian McFadden appears - not as a surprise as I mentioned it above - still not getting what the attraction is and really hating on that haircut. Thank God they’re playing shots of the models instead so we don’t have to look at it too much. The music is actually ok, compared to that hideous catwalk music.

Alex really has a problem with her walk, so I am thinking that it’ll be Demelza unless the voting shows that people hate her in which case I think Napoleon will refuse to have her as his face of Napoleon Perdis - and rightly so.

Jodhi mail. Who is Jodhi again? Oh, wasn’t she the host of the show? Oh, why isn’t she here? Because she wanted to show a very terrible example to the girls - when scared, wimp out.

So now the judges vote. Priscilla chooses Demelza. Kirsty chooses Alex. Napoleon says he doesn’t care about weight because all women can wear his make up (implication, even heifers and sumo wrestlers) and he picks Demelza. Alex Perry chooses Alex. Jonathon picks Demelza. Charlotte chooses Alex. Well, looks like this is pretty evenly split. And our vote is going to choose it, which means Demelza is toast.

Charlotte reminds people of the prizes. Yes, we have heard this what 15 zillion times? Alex has big earring holes but no earrings. The public vote is for…. drumroll…. oh wait now they cross to Alice from Paris. How can they possibly have got the results of the public vote to her in Paris and filmed that and got it back here? I smell something fishy..

I’m finding this a bit hard to believe.. There is no way the public voted for Demelza. No way. People don’t like a bitch, even with an apology.

Oh well, that’s all over with for another year and in the end it was all a bit pathetic in my opinion. On July 22 America’s Next Top Model starts. One wonders what would Tyra say about Jodhi’s non-appearance?

I predict Sam will go on to a huge modeling future and it’ll be “Demelza Who?” this time next year..

But I will be live blogging the final next week, so be sure to tune in.

Tonight - the models take to the runway in the sky and a bikini photo shoot! Liveblogging coming up soon..

Demelza does a bit of bitching to start off the show. Why doesn’t that come as a big surprise? Then there is some babble about Alex sabotaging the girls with the fat muffins. But who cares, people are flying to Fiji. Let us get to the airport!

They are flying Pacific Blue to Fiji. On the way, they are told they will have to do a catwalk show on the flight. This could be interesting - the girls have to put on their own make up in the seats with turbulence! And then they have to get changed in those tiny toilets. Damn, look how many people are squeezed into those seats!

Alyce made it look cheap, Caris was good, Alex was also good. Demelza looked pretty unhappy. They finish the show and then land in Fiji, where they proceed to make some pretty stupid statements and do a lot of screaming on the bus. They go for a beach sunset walk. They they get leid. Not laid. Lei-d.

The resort is very lovely. They proceed to kill the peace and annoy all the other guests staying there by talking loudly, screaming and shouting. Grrr!

The girls have to do a photo shoot. Jonathon tells them they have to get it right or else they will be in the bottom two. The photographer wants them to pose “real” and “really subtle”.

Alex has trouble being subtle and also trouble with her mouth thanks to the collagen. Alyce grasps her pole like it is a phallic object and finds it hard to relax. Demelza does ok. It is very windy there!

Rebecca needs pumping up from Jonathon. Sam needs to learn to work her eyes. Caris has a little bawl and then goes on to win the challenge. Demelza has a bitch about that, as per usual. Jonathon tells her she won it because she was the best. Caris picks Alex and then Demelza bitches about Alex. Maybe we should change the name of the show to Demelza Bitches?

The losers have to clean the resort lolz! That is so funny. Caris and Alex also get a day at the resort spa. Alex and Caris throw a frog at the girls - poor frog, I hope that wasn’t a chlorine pool!

The girls who have to clean are given uniforms and have to report to the laundry. Apparently the laundry is also where the dirty dishes are put. They have to clean them all. Then they have to do the laundry, clean a villa, and then rake seaweed off the beach. They jump in the pool with their uniforms on when they are done.

Oh look, Jodhi mail in a bottle in the pool. The mail says it is time for the bikini shoot. They are sent by boat to an island, where Jonathon and some bloke are waiting for them. A plane is also arriving and on it Jodhi! Well, they could have put her in a bottle and had her float in as a surprise.

They are shooting Tiger Lily swimwear. I have to say the swim wear is quite pretty. Rebecca goes first. She does ok but is a bit stiff and doesn’t take initiative. Sam does a great job and gets beaten up by the waves a bit. Caris doesn’t impress the photographer when she turns up but something happens when she is photographed.

Demelza also nails it. Alex honestly looks so odd with her lips, it is just weird. Alyce is next and she doesn’t do very well. Jonathon says she is struggling with the basics.

Elimination time.. I’m guessing it is goodbye to Alyce, but we will see. Magically the girls are back in the big warehouse of Elimination. They must have flown back and not shown us that.

Prizes.. the winner gets stuff. Cool. Let’s move on.

Judges - the usual, and a supermodel I’ve never heard of, and their photographer.

Sam - takes unique photos. The bikini color matches her eyes perfectly.

Rebecca - makes charlotte bang her head on the table and doesn’t look happy or thatg she wants to be there.

Demelza - beautiful shot. The judges seem to adore her especially Jodhi.

Alyce - Alex Perry can’t explain the level of ordinariness. The judges ask if she has given up. Her second photo is beautiful.

Caris - Gorgeous photos.

Alex - there is something wrong with her mouth but her second shot is amazing.

Alex Perry wonders if Rebecca is alive, if I remember correctly it is not the first time. Who will it be?

Demelza - Sam - Caris - Alex.

Rebecca and Alyce are the final two.

Alyce is safe - Rebecca is going home.

Next week - Fashion Bootcamp. And more bitching from guess who?

Coming up around 7:30 tonight - sabotage and collagen injections! Join me here on the blog for the live blogging.. 8 girls remain - who will be Australia’s Next Top Model?

Demelza starts us rolling by showing us her usual nastiness saying she is pretty happy Alamela left because everyone else is so close.

The girls find some bizarre dancers in the yard who give them Jodhi mail, which makes them realise this wek is about movement and dance. The girls are given tutus and dance outfits. Leiden is in a pink tutu. Damn, it is times like this I wish I could take screenshots, cos that is so darned funny.

There’s a bit of lightning and thunder here, so if I get cut off sorry everyone! Then Leiden sits down and refuses to do the dancing - next they get into hip hop outfits and have to learn to hop hiply. Leiden is totally not into it. And then they are taught to “Vogue” - poor girls, they don’t know what vogueing is. Parents, aren’t you teaching your kids history, like Madonna?

They have to wear another hilarious outfit - leotards with suspenders. The guy teaching them to dance lays into Leiden saying she is here and thousands of girls who wanted to be on the show aren’t, so she isn’t being fair. Leiden storms off - if it is possible to storm in suspenders and fishnets. But the guy is right - she isn’t being fair and it seems like she doesn’t want to be in the competition anymore.

The guy tries to talk to Leiden but she’s pretty upset. The girls are put into pairs and asked to choreograph a routine to show the judges. Leiden is paired with Alex and Alex is not very happy about it cos Leiden is not taking it seriously. And frankly Leiden is really annoying this week.

The next day a bunch of balls start falling down the staircase and a big yellow ball has Johdi mail in it. I guess this answers last week’s question about how many lame ways can Johdi mail appear.

The girls are sent to the Cargo Bar - I’ve been there - they have wicked salads - and they have to parade the new Levi’s collection in front of a shedload of people. Of course, Leiden is not happy. They are put with Leah Howard who is a fairly famous choreographer and they will also be dancing with*boys which freaks Demelza out a little.

Some band called the Pot Bellies are singing live. I’ve never heard of them but all the girls seem to have and when they sing I do recognise one of the songs. Jamie rocks it - two weeks in a row. Leiden made it clear she was miserable. Alyce also rocks it.

Jonathon says it is chaos with people going out at the wrong times wearing the wrong outfits. But in the end it all turns out ok and there are two winners - Jamie and Alyce. The winners are going to appear in a Sony music video for some mate of Jonathon’s. They get to pick a friend so Rebecca and Sam are going with them.

The losers are going to be the flying lips in the video clip. The winners make fun of them which upsets Demelza - aww, what a shame, can dish it out but can’t take it huh?

The winners have to strut and wear helmets - very George Michael. Oops, the power almost went out - if I lose my Austar I will have to put the live blogging on hold.

Bec and Alyce try to chat up the talent. Alex decides to play a prank by making up a recipe rather than cooking what is a recipe from the skinny cookbook with a shedload of calories. That’s totally not nice! She’s trying to make them all fat.

Oh, here is this ad for some football show hosted by Brian McFadden. The ad makes me wonder what Delta Goodrem sees in him - what a pretty boy hair cut! I’ll have to check out the show just to see if I can work it out. Not for long, cos I don’t like football. Maybe half an episode.

Next the girls are going to do a photo shoot for an Australian legend, involving male models. The client is Peter Alexander, the pyjama king. Alyce is very excited because she has an obsession with his pyjamas. Leiden ends up lying on her model in all kinds of weird poses. She does ok - and she needs to.

Caris is next and she thrills the client who thinks she could be a supermodel. Alex is next. It turns out that her lips have been enhanced with collagen, which is why she struggles to have more than one expression. She has no control over her lips. Which is a shame cos the pose involves sitting on two male models and it looks pretty cool.

Next is Alyce - she also gets to pose on the boys. She wears them out and she doesn’t do very well - and Jonathon mentions there was a lot of weight to carry - Alex’s sabotage has been working. Rebecca also sucks. The client walks off the shoot and is very unhappy with her.

Sam is asked to do her shoot topless. She handles it very well and the client is impressed. Jamie is next and the guy has very cute pink underwear on. She didn’t do very well, sadly. Demelza is next and she gets to sit on both boys also.

We’re having quite a storm here. I’m surprised I still have power actually. Elimination time - Johdi is in a purple dress. Just FYI.  And then she tells us the prizes, as usual. Yes, fascinating seeing as we don’t win them. But they have to tell us so the people giving the prizes get some value. Peter Alexander and the photographer from the shoot are the guest judges.

The girls have to do their original dance routines, some of which have the judges laughing till they cry but not necessarily for good reasons. Peter tells Caris he wants to hire her regardless of the outcome of the competition.

Alex Perry thinks Rebecca is secretly dead. It is entirely possible.

Next week the girls are going to a tropical island - but there are 8 girls and only 6 tickets, which means two girls are out. I suspect it is goodbye Rebecca and Alyce but Leiden is also at risk.

Caris is safe - Demelza - Sam - Alex (she of the collagen lips) - Rebecca - the final three are Alyce, Jamie and Leiden. So who gets to go on the trip?

Alyce - what a shock! I would have thought it would be Jamie. And it’s a cry-fest with a lot of hugging. Leiden gets what she wants, which is to go home. She recognises it is down to her attitude.

Next week - modeling on a Virgin Blue flight to Fiji, and a tropical bikini shoot. Who will sink - and who will swim?

What is in store for us tonight? Who knows - but one point of interest is the show runs a little longer than usual. Is that because of the Giant Hairy Beaver, or is there something else afoot? All Aboard the Top Model Live Blogging to find out.. starting very shortly!

So we start out the show with Demelza trying to minimise and excuse her bad behaviour from last week. Sorry, it won’t work Demelza. People saw what they saw and you can’t change it with a weak apology.

A scooter ad shows up with Johdi Mail. How many lame ways can they have the mail show up? The models are taken to Naked Communications who are apparently a brand strategy and communications company. It is quickly shown that spelling education in Australia is dismal, with the words passionate and intelligent spelled incorrectly. I wonder if they would have managed to spell Naked right, even with a huge sign out the front.

Then there is some lame brands you would like to represent exercise. The girls are sent off to get dressed up in outfits that represent their brands. Alamela puts on a fake french accent which is actually pretty good. That is one of the harder accents! Leiden arrives with a pom accent which is also a really difficult accent. Alyce has no idea what she’s doing and basically sucks. Caris freezes up and panics even though she is supposed to be the “actress” of the group. Jonathon says she doesn’t believe in herself and he’s sick of tghe tears.

Demelza is supposed to be Gucci but Jonathon says it was just more Demelza. Terrible - and she needs to be punished, he says. Amen to that!

Maybe the reason for the extended show is the huge amount of ads - they seem to go on and on. Oh, an ad for the grand final of American Idol with the two Davids - Cook and Archuleta. Fox 8 are showing us the results show live at 10am on Thursday.

Charlotte is waiting for the girls in a carpark with a Ford Fiesta Zetec. (I thought they were getting an XR-4? Ripped off girls, a Zetec isn’t as good as a XR-4) So the girls have to do an ad for this car. He splits the girls into three groups to compete against each other. The girls are styled in the theme of their favourite designer from yesterday’s Naked thing. Jamie was put into lingerie as she wants to be a Victoria’s Secret model.

The girls start to have a whinge that Sam complains about everything, which is hilarious considering they are whinging about Sam complaining about everything!

Wow, how good does Jamie look in that white lingerie? Alamela thinks bending over a car bonnet is the sexy look Jonathon has been asking her to show him. The first group thinks they did great.

Alex, Demelza and Leiden are in one group together. Charlotte thinks Demelza is like a big furry hairy huntsman dropped on someones car.

The last group put Charlotte to sleep. Rebecca looks like she belonged on the Satisfaction series on Showcase, which is an Aussie show about a brothel.

The winners of todays challenge go to Brisbane and then work for Holeproof Nothing, and then are taken to dinner and treated like princesses. Leiden won it for group number two, which sadly contains the Mega Beyotch Demelza.

The girls return home to see Johdi who has brought them care packages from their friends and family. Sam didn’t get anything much other than fluffy toys and she is all upset about it because the other girls got letters and other goodies.

The winning girls are sent to Brisbane where they are doing a show for Holeproof. Alex was trying to be sultry but not skanky, Leiden looks amazing. Demelza probably looks nice but frankly I am finding it hard to see her as pretty these days. After the show the girls are sent to dinner with mocktails and much bitching.

The next day the girls are sent to NIDA. Jonathon is there with a camera crew, and now, it is apparently big hairy beaver time. Anyone who has watched much tv lately knows what the beaver is all about - an advertising campaign for U has been using the beaver as a marketing tool. The judges will see their best take at elimination.

This is difficult because the girls have to walk and talk at the same time! Jonathon appears with the giant hairy beaver and the girls are told to share the beaver. Jonathon fits in as many lame beaver jokes as possible “Don’t want to break the beaver today girls”. And finally some of the girls begin to understand the concept of the beaver, but Demelza has never heard of it and thinks it can’t be true - she thinks the other girls are lying to her.

This is one reason why the beaver campaign doesn’t actually work that well, but frankly it is one of the better campaigns for the female sanitary items that I’ve ever seen - most of the other ads are pretty stupid.

Sam is up first, and she does it with some odd American accent, but she does ok. Leiden says she sucked. And she did! Plus she manages to get it all round the wrong way. But she is extremely amusing!

Alyce finds it hard to pick up the box of tampons. She thinks she could have gone better. Jamie absolutely rocks it, she does brilliantly. Alamela thinks she did great but there is a lot of stops in her lines, odd pauses. Alex looks great but she’s not much chop. Caris has stunning eyes.

Demelza is asked to kiss the random male model. She completely loses her brain, and forgets her lines. She leaves a large deposit of lipstick on the poor model. It was a joke from Jonathon - she has to do it again without the kissing, and she was so mad at Jonathon that she can’t deliver the last line without giving a very cold look to camera.

And now after a shedload more ads, it is elimination time. Johdi is wearing a smoking hot outfit and shows them the prizes - it is just a Zetec. Aww. The girls are shown their ads. Leiden is told her attitude sucks. Alamela has to find the clown within. Sam is asked about her fake accent. Jamie is proclaimed Queen of the Beavers.

Alex says Demelza is lazy, one dimensional, and thinks that being pretty is enough to get her by. Sounds like Karma might finally catch up with Queen Beyotch. However Leiden’s attitude is starting to be annoying to the judges. They also think that Alyce and Rebecca aren’t safe either.

Safe - Jamie - Sam - Caris - Alex - Leiden - Demelza (OH NO!) - Rebecca -

Alyce and Alamela are the final two.

And it is goodbye Alamela - Alyce is safe for another week. It is a shame - it almost seems unfair that the nasty beyotches get to stay while Alamela is sent home.

Next week - sabotage and sexy male models and what looks like a double elimination. What could be more fun? See you next Tuesday.

Coming up in live blogging tonight - The Dapto Dogs moon Sydney!

Jonathon arrives and announces that Modeling is a Serious Business, giving the girls a frosty and scary stare. Then he says he is going away until their photo shoot, which scares the girls because they are not sure how they can manage without him. But it is ok, because some girl named Mink is going to manage them, and some dorky guy named Trevor is also there. Yes, we miss Jonathon’s fierce beauty already!

So they are going to be taught to catwalk, and Alex as usual thinks she is brilliant at it, but she actually is overacting. Mink and Trevor think that Leiden looks like she wants to hit them. They find Alamela hilarious and like a cabaret performance.

Mink does a walk and she is very good at it. Plus she was wearing a cute pink dress, which helps. Then they make the girls walk on sand. Then they make them walk in a trench coat and underwear. After some pretty pink trenchcoats, Mink and Trevor ream Alex saying she isn’t trying hard enough and Alex doesn’t like it.

Then it is Johdi Mail time. Tomorrow they have to dress like models. Okay then!

Demelza suddenly decides to bully Alamela and throws a water balloon at her in the kitchen, and then Demelza picks up a vase and pours water on her. Then more of the girls start picking on her because they aren’t getting a reaction. Note to self - these girls is nasty, and Karma is going to come back to them as a surprise. Perhaps I am psychic?

The girls meet Jodhi at Priscillas Model Management. The girls are being sent out on castings. They’re being sent to three places none of which I have ever heard of. The girls have to work out where they are going. I’ve driven in Sydney. Good luck with that!

Leiden tries to put clothes on while wearing high heels. lol. The other group of girls are late for their meeting with some grey haired fashion bloke named Nicola??, and he tells them off. Another group is seeing a long haired chick with gorgeous clothes who likes Alex’s look.

Leiden puts Nicola’s dress on backwards. Yeah, I don’t know how anyone could tell which way round it was supposed to go. Well, that was all very confusing.

Priscilla tells them off for being late, and Alyce wins the challenge. She picks Rebecca and Demelza - They get South Sea Pearls to the value of about $6,000 and then they get to pick three dresses from the designers, and then they get a photoshoot. The losers have to get on treadmills in high heels. Yeah that sounds like it meets with occupational health and safety requirements, NOT!

Uhoh - the photo shoot is in the girls backyard. I have a sneaking suspicion this is when the mooning is going to happen. So Alex, Rebecca and Leiden show not only the girls, but the photographer, the other photo shoot people, and possibly most of Sydney their butts in broad daylight.

Alamela finally reacts to their nastiness. The girls are pleased to have got a reaction from Alamela at last. I don’t think they will be so pleased when they get a reaction from the judges to their butt display.

Off to the photo shoot, and today it is for Alex Perry. Wow, Jonathon looks like he had his hair dyed brown. Alex tells them they have to fit into a standard size 8 to take photos for his “look book” and if they don’t, they get to take a seat and have a coffee because he doesn’t have anything else to fit them. Alex brings out his guarantee - a model who will get in the book if they don’t. And she’s really pretty. And fierce. And wearing something truly God Awful (ie fashionable). And they all seem a bit threatened by her.

Maybe it is just me, but the holeproof butts ad seems wildly appropriate for this particular episode. It shows a lot of butts!

Alex says Belinda was more painful than err, he has no words. He calls it dead in the water. Alyss was amazing and did extraordinary things to the clothes. Alex (the model, not the designer) has to deliver. They put her in a gorgeous dress. Alex Perry thinks she has catty little eye but they work. Leiden fits into a size 8 but she can’t really breathe. Alamela was actually a bit small for the clothes. They try another outfit. Well that is an excuse to eat some Lindt!

Rebecca needs a lot of direction and needed to be spoon fed. Demelza gets put into a gorgeous gold outfit. I have to say, Alex Perry makes some brilliant clothes. Alex keeps back Alexandra, Demelza and Alyce to take some extra shots.

Demelza was put in Alamela’s outfit and she rubs it in so Alamela tells Demelza she heard someone say Demelza needs to lose some weight. Demelza is quite a nasty beeyotch. They finally make Alamela snap, even though Alamela said earlier in the show that she doesn’t react and she doesn’t care. Demelza has apparently been bullied in the past, and now she’s taking an opportunity to bully a girl herself. And can I just say, I personally think Demelza has big bubble fish eyes that are fairly ugly, but her insides are MUCH more ugly than the outside, and she is putting that on display. A “pretty” girl can quickly morph into an ugly girl by being a nasty bully. So Demelza, when you Google yourself and read this, I hope you feel as ashamed as you *should* feel - that behaviour is very ugly.

Jungle Girl Rebecca (who also has displayed some pretty ugly behaviour this week) hopes Alamela is going home.

Ooh - that photographer *is* very cute.

Jodhi announces that they have heard about some nasty behaviour. Charlotte christens the girls the “Dapto” dogs because that is what they think of them. They really rip the models a new one. But I think they should have shown us more of it!

Alex Perry makes Demelza cry - there’s that karma. Alex says Jungle Girl Rebecca is a moose, and he wanted to get out an air rifle and shoot her. Whoa! Charlotte hopes her bag packing skills are better than her modeling skills. Here’s hoping she is the one they kick off because she really deserves it.

The last two are - Rebecca and Belinda. And they save Rebecca - sending Belinda home. Well, four weeks ago she had no idea how to walk in heels, so she’s come a long way.

Next Week, a giant hairy beaver. Sounds like fun!

I spotted in the previews that one of the girls goes from scary reddish brown to bottle blonde this week - so this should be an interesting show!

Someone arrives at the house with a box - when the girls open it, it is full of butterflies! Leiden decides to lick one of them - poor butterfly, who knows where that tongue has been?

The girls are sent to the Mahogany Salon. Jodhi is wearing some kind of garbage bag trenchcoat. Is that to protect her from the hair dye? Perhaps it is Kevlar in case one of the girls decides to shoot her.

Leiden - bottle blond. Caris = not much. Jamie gets hair extensions. Jungle Girl Rebecca gets Naomi Campbell - here’s hoping they’re not taking her somewhere on a plane, I guess.

Caris is doing a crying - Jonathon goes to talk to her - is something bothering you? Maybe there’s fumes from the hair dye. But Caris says it is because she is not used to living with so many people.

Leiden says she has bush pig eyebrows - well they’ll match her personality nicely, right?

EEK! Alamela has a short bob! Caris is still not happy but that color brings out her eyes. Alexandra thinks hers is a step back - she’s done Cleopatra before and it is so 1000BC.

Now the girls have new hair, they are going to be on a catwalk tomorrow. Alexandra has a long whinge and calls people pigs for doing it to her. Whoa, nice attitude! Then she gets on the phone and cries to hey boyfriend, who claims he knows better than the judges.

Next - the girls find their sea legs.

They are sent to the navy base and board the HMAS Melbourne. They will have an audience of 100 sailors. The girls are done up as 50’s bombshell models. Alex has another whinge, this time to Jonathon. He says he will give her something to cry about later. Hmm, that sounds ominous. lol.

Sailors have nice shoes - they look like white Doc Martens. Normally I would say no to white shoes but these look cute. Jordan, Steph and Jodhi are in the audiene. Poor Bec can’t see - her contact lenses have not arrived.

One of the 16 year olds - Demelza - decides to flash her undies at the sailors. A breast almost falls out. Leiden admits that she’s seen everyone’s breasts in the house. The audience’s hands must be hurting as in every shot they are all clapping. Ouch!

Demelza is the sailors choice. Jonathon says she went from fashion to smut. Alexandra is the fashion choice. They get $11,000 to spend but it is from the hottest designers so that money won’t go far. The losers have to clean the house. Leiden says she’s not going to do it.

The girls go off on their shopping spree. Wow, three pairs of jeans for a few grand. They don’t seem to have a lot to show for their 11 grand.

How unfortunate that Alex won because I was looking forward to Jonathon making her cry. He’s extremely good at it, we’ve seen it before.

Now the girls are off to a fashion shoot. OH NO - it is the God of makeup with killer eyebrows, Napoleon Perdis. Is it just me, or is Napoleon gay? I don’t know for sure or anything.

Caris delivers. Kristy isn’t symmetrical and not the face of Napoleon Perdis. Alex is a bit like Nicole Kidman (without the talent, or the height, or the red hair, or Tom Cruise as an ex husband, or the bank account). Rebecca was amazing and done very quick. Alamela is very cold and shaking. He bores Napoleon - he says it is like she drowned. Well water can be dangerous that way.

Leiden is scary, according to Jonathon. I agree! Why do all the girls have really ugly blue fingernails? Napoleon gives Alamela another chance. Jonathon thinks she should be eliminated because she sucks, a lot.

This shoot is a good example of why modelling is difficult - you try opening your eyes and posing sexily while water is sprayed into your face? The girls go out to a yacht club to get smashed and pick up men while the under age girls create them a party at home. Leiden decides she would rather pick up her fellow models. Alex finds a feral to kiss. Eew.

Rebecca gives Leiden a lap dance. The girls stay a lot longer than they were supposed to and Alex is caught with her feral outside. Leiden destroys her own birthday cake. Then its time for a food fight! Demelza is upset because she slaved over that cake.

Alex rings her boyfriend to tell him she kissed a feral and asks if he still wants her. Well if I were him I’d be like no way, I’m kicking you to the kerb, you hoity toity feral kissing ho!

Elimination time! The heel clunking pack reaches the judges. Now Jodhi appears to be wearing some kind of bullet belt - or a belt that looks like it was made to hold bullets. Is she cold, or something? Where’s her cleavage?

Charlotte, Alex, and Napoleon and the photographer from this week’s shoot are the judges. Ouch - Belinda’s pic is evil. Leiden doesn’t want to be here and she cries. Judging time. They’re talking so fast I can’t type it all. Alex Perry thinks Leiden looks like Frankenstein.

Safe are - Rebecca - Alexandra - Emma - Samantha - Caris - Jamie - Alyss - Leiden - Alamela - Demelza - Kristy and Belinda are the final two.

And it’s goodbye to… … Kristy. She thanks them for the opportunity, and leaves.

Next week - crocs, snakes, clowns, bootcamp, and a scary shoot.

And my final note - I can’t STAND Alexandra. She is pure evil!

At 7:30pm tonight - makeover madness! And I will be blogging all the tears and tantrums live here at Aussie Bloggers.

You can also check out the official website online by clicking here.

Oh dear. Less than 4 minutes into the show, we have found out who the feral is - Leiden does a somewhat scary burp! And we’ve also found out that Australian parents are naming their children some weirdo names these days.

Oh, so for fun we’re going to ask the girls some questions to get to know them, and then put them in bikinis to walk. Two at a time.

Jonathon makes it clear that if you don’t have a flesh colored G-string, don’t turn up on his set - it is the ticket to ride!

Alamela and Kamila have their turn. Whee, Alamela is going to be the mega beeyotch!

The gigglers. I missed their names but wow, what gorgeous hair, those long black curls.

Caris and Demelza - jelly botty! Alex says there’s nothing wrong with that but you have to fit the clothes.

Belinda - Alex says she’s fruity hehe.

Emma doesn’t think she is beautiful but she clearly is - she is the one I most remember from the ad because she was so graceful.

Alexandra gets tired when she reads books, so she’d fallen asleep by the time she was called. She’s a fashionista. But she can’t walk and she thinks she’s better than she is.

Samantha is the exotic looking one, very pretty.

Jonathon is looking pretty as always.

Next they’re going to film the ad we’ve been watching, which should be fun to watch. Though not as fun as last year’s ad where they had the models beating each other up.

And now for the millions of ads.

Welcome to the Top Model house, which is as always luxurious. And they get presents. Then they have to make rules for everyone to follow, which brings out the nasty in Alamela.

Oh look, a pop up television! And Jodhi appears on it telling them their first challenge is tomorrow.

Having seen the ad so many times I have to give amazing credit to the hair and make up people because almost all the girls don’t look anything like they do in the ad.

Jungle girl Rebecca has to hold a snake and it freaks her out quite a bit. The snake weighs 19KG and is 9 foot long! Whoa. Emma has some trouble not looking like a potato when they drop her. Belinda is on a harness snowboarding and she does a great job. Alamela is the ninja schoolgirl but she can’t scream and proves she isn’t as good as she thinks she is.

Belinda takes a tumble when running across some material. Alyss has to do her part in one take and she nails it.

At the end of it all they find out that the winner of the challenge means exemption from elimination. Alyss wins!

Oh btw I might be spelling some of these names wrong because they put crazy letters and silent letters and all kinds of shizzle in their names these days. Ad time!

Now they get to take a group shot for the Vogue website. Tan lines are bad and tanning is not healthy. Then there are a lot of bruises and band aids. That segment was fairly boring, I nearly went to sleep. Ads again!

Unfortunately I’ve had some technical issues here, so I missed quite a bit of goings on, sorry! Grr that’s really thrown me for a loop there. Darned Wordpress did the blank link box and then wouldn’t let me close it.

The girls are all asked to name the three people they think can be the next top model. Not surprisingly only one of them doesn’t say “Me” or “Myself” - that was Belinda. The judges have a chat and they don’t seem to agree, so who knows who is going home? Now ads for like 3 hours.

Alyss is safe - so is - Demelza - Alamela - Carys - Leiden - Belinda - Alex(andra?) Kristy - Jamie - Rebecca - Samantha - Emma and Kamila are the last two.. who will go home?

Wow, how tall is Emma, she’s towering over the other girl. And it’s goodbye to Kamila. Her journey is over, and what a short one it was! Only one photo to look at. But at least she got all those cool presents.

Next week - Hello Sailor! And it looks like makeover week, will there be tears? I’m thinking yes. And Jordan - my favourite from last year - makes a guest appearance.

The promo video for cycle 4 of Australia’s Next Top Model is now being shown on Foxtel and Austar. Here is the extended clip - there are also shorter versions.

Australia’s Next Top Model website finally has some content on it, so if you’re interested in the show head on over and check it out.

There’s less than 3 weeks to lift off, and I will be live blogging the show here on the Aussie Bloggers website, so you won’t miss out on a minute of the insanity.