Aussie Bloggers

According to the Sydney Morning Herald - scroll down, it is the second story on the page - Jodhi Meares won’t be bothering to show up for tonight’s live finale. She’ll be joining the rest of us on the couch to watch it from home. Alex Perry and Charlotte Dawson will be covering for her.

Never fear, we will be live blogging the *not* entirely live final here on the blog. So cuddle up with your Demelza voodoo doll and a large supply of pins, as there is a 50% chance she will win this, therefore proving the rule that beyotches always triumph, especially in the fashion world.

Back in about 15 for the sort of live event!

And we’re back. Jodhi’s voice reads us some very dodgy poetry while we recap the series. Then she appears in a pre-filmed segment and then Charlotte appears to apologise that Jodhi can’t be there. She’s wearing some odd dress by Alex Perry which she seems to have been poured into.

And what the heck is Napoleon wearing? Charlotte asks the panel if they’ve made up their mind and they pretend like they haven’t. Unfortunately I have - after they kicked out Sam who was my favourite and Alex did a terrible performance for Malan Breton stumbling around in those heels, I think Demelza is probably going to win.

The girls are brought out one by one and wow, look at Sam! Alex looks great - Demelza looks a little odd. Could be all that weight she lost.

If the viewers decide I am sure that it won’t be Demelza - she has truly ruined this show for most of the viewers with her bitchy nastiness. However she has apparently lost quite a bit of weight. She says “you know” a lot.

Alex has dyed her hair away from the red. Apparently Alex has found out that she has scoliosis (hope I spelled that right) and she’s been working with people about that.

Charlotte addresses the bullying. Slap her hard, Charlotte! Or not. Demelza pretends like she wants to apologize but she’s rolling her eyes when she’s talking so it seems completely like excrement to me - she does apologize to Alamela publicly. And Charlotte doesn’t seem convinced either.

Now Charlotte gives Alex a bit of nastiness over the food sabotage but it doesn’t last long either. I have to say it is very difficult to look at Charlotte in that dress - I need sunglasses, it is very glary! Here’s hoping she is changing during the ad break.

So I think they made a huge mistake kicking off Sam because she looks incredible - way better than Demelza. Now they have Charlotte sitting in a bizarre chair which looks like it should be involved in S & M. Demelza has lost a lot of weight in her face.

Bowie Wong liked Alex better and booked her. But they also booked Demelza. Wayne Cooper books Alex and not Demelza. She doesn’t peel off his face with her fingernails - lucky Wayne! And then Demelza does a crying. Nope, I don’t feel sorry for her, not one bit.

Then they go to Bec and Bridge who book Demelza, not Alex. Then off to Alex Perry who books Demelza and Alex. They’re dead even. Then they go to Silence Is Golden. They book Alex and not Demelza. Off to Flamingo Sands and they don’t book Demelza but they do book Alex. That puts her two ahead.

Gee, Demelza is completely cured of bitchiness isn’t she - saying she hopes Alex falls. Oh please Karma, bite this bitch in the ass and don’t let her win.

Apparently Brian McFadden will be performing this evening. I said a few weeks ago that I would watch that Football Superstar to see if I can work out why Delta likes him. It must be something hidden deep inside because I am none the wiser, especially after his little giving the finger to a football stadium full of people who were taunting him trick. If Brian happens to be reading this (and of course he is, duh!) my advice is to be extra nice to people who are taunting you in future.

Something happened to the U ads as well - new music that almost sounds like Beyonce or something. I don’t like the new music so much.

Now it is time to see what happened at Fashion Week. Alex goes to Wayne Cooper - and so do several of the judges. Oh look, there’s Jodhi, I’d almost forgotten she existed. But what kind of hairstyles are those Wayne? Oh poor Demelza whinges that she was so bored and Alex’s walk was shit. Someone get her a tissue.

So when Demelza gets to walk, she does very well. All that impatience has done good things for her - and she did the angry walk probably because she was really mad that she had to watch Alex in two shows she didn’t get booked for.

Alex Perry makes beautiful things. He still loves Alice from last year and she kicks off his show. Alex has trouble with her walk - Demelza does the bobblehead then trips twice hello Karma! - and then tries not to cry about it.

Next is Bowie Wong who puts his models in bizarre blonde wigs and Alex has a wardrobe malfunction. Then Flamingo Sands and Alex does swimsuit.

Apparently you can still vote. And next they will be having a catwalk show.

So all the girls will be doing runway now. Oh sorry, I watched that. Not sure what the heck kind of music much of that was supposed to be. It was clear that Leiden and Sam were crowd favourites.

Charlotte talks to the girls which is very cringeworthy from my perspective. Sam is Australia’s favourite model which only gives her $5,000 - thanks to the cheapskates behind that tiny prize amount - she deserves a lot more!

Then they have a bitchy and tears segment which I slept through because we’ve seen all that before. And it seems like Alex Perry went to sleep as well because Charlotte asks him something and he wasn’t even listening to her. Now Henry Roth appears to pimp Project Runway.

Now they have a too quick fashion show with 3 models from Top Model and 3 designers from Project Runway have dressed them. That happened so quick I barely saw the clothes or the designers. There’s some terrible camera work on tonight’s show.

Maybe sometime in the next hour or so they might bother to tell us who has won - there’s just under 40 minutes left according to the Austar box. Looks like voting is no more also but they haven’t actually said so yet..

So now they’re going to look at the girls portfolio - and again Jodhi appears - who is she again? Don’t we all think Jodhi should not get a vote if she can’t be bothered to turn up to the finale? I mean she didn’t have to host, couldn’t she just sit there on the panel? Let’s get a new host next year, Fox 8.

Alex Perry and Jonathon have a little run in. And now the votes are about to close. Yeah right. I think the voting might just be a money making thing and not have much of an effect at all.

Geez that Beyonce style singing on the U ad is irritating - I used to love that ad and now, not.. And speaking of irritating, so is the Napoleon Perdis ad. I really don’t like that guy. And anyone spending that kind of money on a cleanser, toner and moisturiser should have their head read.

The lines are now closed. They look back at Alex’s portfolio. Charlotte is back in the bondage chair. Alex has a massive fringe today which is a bit of a pity - no eyebrows. Alex Perry and Jonathon have a new argument. After the break there is apparently a performance with a “couple” of surprises. Yawn.

And now Brian McFadden appears - not as a surprise as I mentioned it above - still not getting what the attraction is and really hating on that haircut. Thank God they’re playing shots of the models instead so we don’t have to look at it too much. The music is actually ok, compared to that hideous catwalk music.

Alex really has a problem with her walk, so I am thinking that it’ll be Demelza unless the voting shows that people hate her in which case I think Napoleon will refuse to have her as his face of Napoleon Perdis - and rightly so.

Jodhi mail. Who is Jodhi again? Oh, wasn’t she the host of the show? Oh, why isn’t she here? Because she wanted to show a very terrible example to the girls - when scared, wimp out.

So now the judges vote. Priscilla chooses Demelza. Kirsty chooses Alex. Napoleon says he doesn’t care about weight because all women can wear his make up (implication, even heifers and sumo wrestlers) and he picks Demelza. Alex Perry chooses Alex. Jonathon picks Demelza. Charlotte chooses Alex. Well, looks like this is pretty evenly split. And our vote is going to choose it, which means Demelza is toast.

Charlotte reminds people of the prizes. Yes, we have heard this what 15 zillion times? Alex has big earring holes but no earrings. The public vote is for…. drumroll…. oh wait now they cross to Alice from Paris. How can they possibly have got the results of the public vote to her in Paris and filmed that and got it back here? I smell something fishy..

I’m finding this a bit hard to believe.. There is no way the public voted for Demelza. No way. People don’t like a bitch, even with an apology.

Oh well, that’s all over with for another year and in the end it was all a bit pathetic in my opinion. On July 22 America’s Next Top Model starts. One wonders what would Tyra say about Jodhi’s non-appearance?

I predict Sam will go on to a huge modeling future and it’ll be “Demelza Who?” this time next year..