Are we really so laid back?
Australia is, from everything I hear and read, one of the most laid back countries in the world. This impression comes from past experience too.
However, I find today there is a sad lack of many things, but the one that irritates me most is a lack of manners.
I’m big on manners, and it’s one of the stand out things that first attracted me to my husband. His manners are impeccable, and I mean impeccable.
People today always seem to be in a hurry and the small considerations for others seem to have fallen by the wayside in many cases.
When was the last time you {consistently} had people hold a door open for you as opposed to letting it just shut behind them?
The last time someone let you into traffic because they could as opposed to having to give way?
The last time you were on public transport and a younger person stood up to give you their seat? These days a pregnant woman is struggling to have that happen.
I try, at least once a day, to do good things. It may be as simple as putting an extra 20c on the counter for someone who is short in the price of their milk without having to break a fifty dollar note. I always buy at least one present for the Wishing Tree every year. This year just gone it was 4 because I couldn’t choose!
Even in blogging, manners don’t seem to be high the list for many. You have only to look at the comments and diatribes within comments that appear to be happening more and more. People ignore comments, they pick and choose between who they’ll respond to and who they won’t.
What’s happened to our society that we have every type of “rage” imaginable?
Road rage, car park rage, I even heard the term shopping trolley rage not long ago {mind you, I have been guilty of a “little” myself after my ankles almost broken a couple of times!} What’s next? Blog rage?
Maybe people need to slow down a bit and take time to enjoy the little things in life? The sound of a child giggling. Not laughing, but giggling? Surely there’s time for that?
Time to admire a beautiful flower, a painting, or even just a wonderful old building. Go for a picnic?
Time to enjoy our life instead of racing at 100 miles an hour to achieve everything we want to achieve in the shortest possible time.
Ambition is good, as is wanting the best for our family, but if we never have time to enjoy what we’re working for, what’s the point in having it?
If the desire to achieve, and then maintain, said life, is interfering with the ability to interact in a manner acceptable, doesn’t that just create another set of problems?
I know there are thousands of people who do take the time needed to smell the roses, and I admire them for it, but in the last 10 years or so it seems you need to look for these people as opposed to just seeing them.
Given we are known the world over for being friendly and laid back, would it not make sense to actually be that way? If we’re perceived that way by overseas visitors, great, but surely we need to look after our own as well? Not forget the little things that can make a person’s day just that fraction easier?
I know overall there is still the help a mate and cheer for the underdog attitude, but these aren’t the things that visitors see. They see the main cities where the bulk of our population is centred. Surely it can only be a good thing if this attitude flowed into our everyday life?
“Too laidback to get up and offer one’s seat” sprang to mind as I was reading this post
I think it is tough to stop and pay attention to those around us, some days, instead of retreating into our own little ipod/psp world and noticing no-one.
I agree, I don’t think we really are laid back at all. I live in a rural area where the notion of a laid-back lifestyle is even more so. BUT, it isn’t like that at all. In fact, we’re flat out busy to our own and each other’s detriment.
Here, here! Yesterday on the train there was a lovely woman who went through the whole carriage and shook each persons hand (although there were a few who refused to shake her hand) and greeted them with “Good Morning”. I must admit, it was certainly a little odd, but if she achieved nothing else, she managed to get people on the train smiling and talking to each other. I thought it was a great way to start the day.
Naomi: It is tough, but how much nicer would it be? I hate those headphones..annoy the life out of me….
Lightening: I’m country born and bred too so i know what you’re saying. Everybody is so busy doing their own thing they forget the nicities don’t they?
There are good people and bad people in every corner of the globe looks to me like you are finding the bad people. Crab less and the good people will flock to you .
There are women today who don’t want men to stand up and give them a seat because they are expecting a baby.It is called womens rights . I am old to I remember the way it was but things are changing .
I hate bad manners. I mean acting like a gentleman to ladies doesn’t even really exist anymore. We went overseas on a missions trip and a couple of us guys would pull out the girls chairs at dinner and they were shocked cause it had never happened to them before.
I agree Amum – most people are out for themselves and/or painfully too busy to notice others.Others no regard at all… hence all the rage.
In the blogging world a lot of people just drop a comment and run.
It is true too about having to look for people who stop and smell the roses or hold doors open or offer seats … rare breed now.
Too rare trish..far too rare. There was a time when the majority were like that though. Be nice to have it again wouldn’t it?
We can always hope though….hope is sweet
Tom I mkae no secret that I LOVE those types of things. I enjoy having the door opened for me, a chair held for me and all those things feminists tell me set the movement back 100 years. Is it really so hard to be polite and treat a woman like a woman? And I find it sad that women aren’t used to it,
It’s society as a whole isn’t it? There’s little consideration for anyone other than their own little world sometimes. That’s a generalisation btw. It jusst seems that more and more people are becoming so tied up in their own world and lives that those around them don’t seem to count.
Maybe I’m just getting old?
I enjoy giving and receiving politeness and friendly human interactions. I think that those are basic human rights.
I’m one of those feminists who sees little point in being especially ‘polite’ to women. Surely anyone who’s a little feeble, or disabled, or tired needs a seat given up to them or a door opened to them. I’d much rather see a REAL gentleman open the door for a fellow male on crutches than for me – right now I’m quite capable of doing it myself. Perhaps the whole ‘chivalry’ thing has been soured beyond repair for me by seeing too many people use up their energy in unnecessary chivalry, and have no energy left for helping people who really, really need it. Certainly I’ll smile and say “thank you” if someone opens a door for me or pulls out my chair – and all I ask in return is that they do the same if I return the favour. Sometimes, I think, people get too caught up in _forms_ of courtesy and lose the reality of it.
I think the only time a lot of us Aussies are ‘laid back’ is when we finally hop into bed to get some sleep.
Busy lives often have us forget simple pleasures of life.. a smile or even a kind word. I do try to take time for the little things… appreciating a sunrise or sunset.. the formation of the clouds. My son thinks I’m a little strange when I comment on things like that.
For many of us we are so busy rushing around.. especially as parents with all the after school activities to even take time to catch our breath.
It’s important to try to gain some sanity into your day… just by taking some ‘just for you’ time.
Must admit I do like manners…especially table manners. Long gone are the days when a man tipped his hat at a lady. Now that was certainly an era in my grandads days!
Colin: You’re right. It is a human right, but not everybody sees it that way…
Naomi: To a degree I agree with you. I’m more than capable of doing these things for myself too, but I still like having it done for me, so long as it’s done in the right context. If a man is doing it simply to big note himself, then it’s a problem. My father does it because that’s the way he was bought up, as was my husband. There are many men like it, and I enjoy it. It’s people such as these who still have a grasp of reality. I also agree elderly, feeble ot disabled sbould have it done for them too. And I do. I think nothing of holding the door for the next person. I guess my point it that basic manners are seemingly missing in many situations, and find it sad is all
Gaida: People are just so engrossed in their life {and to a degree, understandably} they do miss a lot, but then with kids into so many things these days that part I can see why. I find that friends enhance my life, as does spending time with them you know? Table manners? I’m so pedantic about them, so I really hear you there….
Being laid back is a great thing. I’ve never been to Australia, but the same concept you’re trying to get across applies everywhere. I’m from Hawaii and Hawaii is a really laid back place also. However, just as in your neck of the woods, modern life has caused many to tense up and forget about common courtesy and politeness. But I believe in being hopeful and understanding.
Maybe I’m just getting old, but true manners appear to be a thing of the past in Australia.
Motorists no longer move to the left to let an ambulance go by or do the same on long narrow roads for tired lorry drivers.
Truck drivers don’t wave to kids, they bully their driver parent instead.
Kids think a seat on transport is first come, first served.
Please, thankyou and “it was nice of you to have me over” are mere ghosts of a forgotten past.
Speaking ill of the dead and nasty gossip are the norm, because thinking a lot but saying little has gone from the rule book.
In fact the rule book has disappeared.
I am forever getting weird looks from people when ever I hold the door open, or hold the lift.
Even when I left others in when I’m driving gets a lot of odd looks.
Living in the country it’s easy to just be that polite, but I’ve noticed that since I’ve moved up here in the last 10 years my “city” ways have changed.
Now I know I learned first hand how rude people can be, when I was on crutches and people just walk straight in to you, or see that you’re struggling and don’t even ask if you need help.
The only time I get a bit shirty is when people just expect you to do things for them, with a loud annoy cough or give you a dirty look, Sorry I wont get up off the seat if you are going to act like a prick, ask me nicely and I might, but demand it from me gets you a very open negative.
Lovely post! I think it may be a sign that society is becoming increasingly narcissistic? Also as you suggested, a lot of suppressed anger surfacing as rudeness (a dysfunctional and passive-aggressive way to ventilate)…
Politeness and not being sloppy (for example when writing e-mails etc) is SO important.
It shows so much about how much attention/care you are willing to share.
Of course, polite manners should at closer examination be accompanied by a kind heart
Kind regards,
Kristina
Australians are not perfect – who is?? But, I think Australian ocker blokes, with the singlet, bumcrack, thick socks and boots, are among the most genuine men anywhere. They’d give one the shirt of their back. Well, that’s been my experience. God bless’em.
“Lou”