If real life was like blogging…
People annoy me.
One on one, a small group, fine. But en masse, not so much.
‘The great unwashed’ as my Daddy says. And, yes, I still call him my Daddy. Got a problem with that? (See, perpetual annoyance. It’s a gift.)
But wouldn’t life be that little more pleasant if you could put someone on moderation if you just met them?
Or mark as spam if you never ever want their pointy little face in your life again?
Oh, the bliss!
Walking down the aisles of the supermarket, Super Mummy (You know the one; we all know a Penny Perfect) is sauntering towards you. You are wearing your gardening clothes and just popped in to grab some toilet paper, ’cause the kids are starting to use newspaper and newsprint is hard to get off. But it does give you something to read while washing their hair. So there is a benefit.
Anyway, SM is floating towards you and you look like crap.
‘Mark as spam’
YES! She is gone. Never to be seen again!
You are over at a friends house, having a case of wine a civilized coffee and one of her new friends pops in. Immediately chuck her on moderation, just in case you don’t like what she has to say.
Subscribe to her feed if you do.
You overhear a conversation. It intrigues you. Or makes you laugh so hard you pee a little. Instead of risking a punch in the nose or a death stare for being an eavesdropper you can type a quick comment about how that touched you, or you had to change your underwear and clean up the coffee you spurted down your shirt, and escape unscathed.
And the best thing? Instead of telling the world you are sitting there in your pyjamas, with last nights mascara caked to the side of your face and the kids’ Weetbix in your hair, you can pretend you are a gorgeous domestic goddess with perfect children, a husband that hangs on your every word, and a tiger in the bedroom.
Unless you start posting pictures of yourself and your cover is blown.
Damn, I wish I had of thought of that.
Although you definitely have...
hehehe!
the coven and I have a little game called “this person has been deleted because………” based on the old msn chat deleted message messages.
We`d delete people left right and centre! Very theraputic
Great idea. I can think of several family members who I’d like to check in with on my reader (when I felt up to it) And your descriptions were extremely restrained, Kel! I can just imagine the Magneto Bold version of that post
ROFLOL. Great post Kelley!
Oh - wonderful concept! And you could block phone numbers just like IP addresses - never have to deal with those draining phone calls again
Good job. I liked this.
LMAO That would be a perfect solution to many of our daily annoyances!
And add really annoying people to your spam filter, so that you don’t even have to see them in the moderation queue.
The possibilities are amazing. And like Guera, I’d like to see a MBT version of that post.
Kelley, you are gold! Loved this post immensely.
Bettina: We have a game here called Deleted too. It is from Homestar Runner and it is hilarious.
Guera: I am not foul mouthed all the time you know! I don’t talk in my sleep…
Lightening: Thanks babe.
Meg: That is called a restraining order I believe.
Frogdancer: thanks
Jayne: wouldn’t it be awesome. And to be able to just shut the lid (laptop) and walk away…
Gemisht: *snort* you guys know me too well.
Joh:
thanks
Very good. I shall start using this immediately. I liked the supermarket tool best.
It would also be good to be able to comment like anonymous to certain people.
This was great. I loved it.
That was funny… I am actually a domestic goddess… and more…
Old Knudsen told me,”That I had the sexiest green eye since Eric the Cyclops..” *sigh* I gave him an award for that comment…
sometimes I feel like giving people little gold stars…..
sometimes I feel like giving others bags of manure…..
sometimes I am glad that life isn’t like blogging or I might be in a whole lot of trouble……
BAHAAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelley - hilarious and once again you hit the G -spot ‘gaffaw’ I mean… I love this post and I agree we can secretly still do it … or tell them I marked you as spam or better still be the troll when life is boring anywhere … you would make a great stand up comedian and give whats her a name a run for her money.
LOL at Kim too …
Love it !!!!!
Will now start doing that in my head, lol.
God you are awesome!
Anyone wish for an ‘undo’ function? I mean for any little thing? Badly worded comments, stubbing your toe, sitting on chewy, missing the tram by 5 seconds??
Colin: Oh yeah! That would be awesome. Pull on your Ninja mask…
River: Even the restrained me?
Felicity: Yeah, just get that porridge outta your hair and the food on your cheek…
Frogpondsrock: And the award was????? Anvil to the testicles?
Babyamore: Unfortunately my shoes are so fabulous that renders them unbelievably painful so no chance of standing for anything longer than a knock knock joke.
Widdle Shamrock: Awesome. Now I am in your head send me all your money.
Stimey: *gaffaw* I love you!