A Disturbing Trend
I Stumble. A lot. Much of it is looking for quality blogs to read, finding new themes, or info on the administration side of my own domain, that type of thing. Now, I read as I go most of the time, have a bit of a look around if the latest post grabs me, look through the comments, maybe check out a couple of links on the blogroll.
Recently I’ve noticed a disturbing trend, on several occasions.
Whilst there are no written rules, per se, in blogging, there are, I believe, a certain set of unwritten rules regarding blog etiquette. One of these is to not challenge a person on their own blog.
If you heard a comment made in a conversation on the street, and you disagreed with it, would you stop and tell the person you disagree with them at all, let alone give them a serve they’re not likely to forget any time soon? I certainly wouldn’t.
All people are different, and have different opinions on things, it’s what gives us individuality, and it’s a good thing in most cases. The world would indeed be a boring place if we were all the same, yes?
I have no issue with a lively debate, and in fact encourage it on my blog. The only thing I ask is it not become personal, whether it be directed at myself, or someone who comments. In the last 3 weeks alone I have stumbled upon 5 blogs where a reader has gone way too far in the comments section on a post. I’m talking name calling, insults, comments that are scathing, and in some cases, downright threatening.
These have been people who are obviously not regular readers or commenters, they’ve just stumbled on the post, much the same as me, and decided to put their 2c worth in. They then come back some hours, or days, later to see the reaction and continue in the same vein. My idea of a blog is to connect with others, put up a post and see what it brings. If I get comments, good and well, and if I don’t it doesn’t matter: I’ve taken the thought from my head and put it into words.
If you’re going to leave a comment, by all means state your case in terms that makes it difficult for them to be misconstrued. If the dialogue continues and it becomes apparent your opinion differs so much, surely an email is far more appropriate than calling someone out in a public forum?
This is not just any public forum is it? You’re in someone else’s space.
If you really have such a strong opposite opinion, would it not be easier to move along and say nothing? The thinking behind name calling and insults eludes me. It’s childish, and makes you look like an idiot. An immature idiot at that. There are many ways of getting an opposite opinion across without resorting to these means.
If you’re a regular reader on a blog, it’s far easier to disagree in a way that won’t be misconstrued because you get to “know’ each other. You sometimes agree to disagree and move on, which is as it should be, but to just breeze in, create havoc and go again?
I’ve been reasonably lucky and only ever had to delete one comment in my time blogging, and I thought long and hard before I did it, but the person in question simply went too far. They attacked not only myself, but three others who had commented on the post in question. Yes, they’re only words on a screen and can’t hurt you but that’s not the point, is it? I wouldn’t tolerate someone coming into my home and doing it, so I’m not going to tolerate it on my blog either. I always console myself with one thought in these situations…
On my blog I’m omnipotent.
I can, will, and have, banished people with a keystroke. An IP address can be blacklisted, and I have several on mine for various reasons.
Has anyone had this problem? I know of one or two in the blogs I read, but I was wondering if others were encountering this problem too? Or am I being too picky?
Although you definitely have...
I’ve been pretty lucky in not attracting trolls to my blog. I guess my subject matter makes it hard to get too opinionated. I don’t think you’re being too picky. If you don’t like the way people are commenting then by all means blacklist them. It’s your right.
I’ve had a problem with this recently and I was unsure what to do at first. My initial reaction was not to take the bait but when the commenter came back for another go and insulted other commenters as well I felt I had to respond. The one good thing to come out of it was the support that regular readers showed for me - I was very grateful for that.
I don’t think you’re being picky at all - as you said your blog is like your home and you get to set the rules as to what behaviour is allowed there.
I see the same thing on forums… amazing how the anonymity of blogging seems to give people license to say whatever the please.
I don’t blog much that is of a controversial nature but I’d have no compunction banning trolls either.
I have not published comments that don’t feel positive or beneficial. I have emailed the person and told them why, which has not always been too well received, but think you have to protect not only yourself but your readers.
I don’t understand why you would allow it in your space to be honest. Is this against the ‘unwritten rules of blog comment’? Am I a control freak?
Babe, my haters are sneaky. They contact me directly to voice their rather colourful opinion of me, my mothering skillz, my hair, my writing style and how I ‘don’t deserve the number of people commenting on your stupid little blog’. Well buddy…. ahem.
Trolls are every where in life. They just don’t have to look you in the eye while they are hating on the internet.
Luckily I have never had to hover over the delete key for a comment. Cause I don’t know what I would do! Would I let them have their say and then give it back 10 fold or take the high road?
I guess I will soon find out!
Jen: One person I had to blacklist was a family member would you believe? Bit sad I know, but the reasons are somewhat complicated. The other 2 were just trolls. I tend to be rather forthright when I post so I know I’m going to get the odd one now and then
Guera: Your post was one I had in mind when I started this post actually. I did try and comment at the time, but for some unknown reason it kept coming up with an error. My server I think more than anything. It was happening all over the place that week! I did see the cavalry arrive though, and that made me smile. It’s a good feeling isn’t it? I’m guessing he hasn’t been back?
Deeleea: Bad manners at any time annoy the life out of me! Trolls are like gatecrashers. Noone likes them but sooner or later we come across them at some point in time. All we can do is deal with them as we see fit at the time
Kelley: I have a blog on my roll has the same problem. Hate mail, all sorts of insults. On her blog she gives them hell, and by return email as well! I’ve banned a couple, and deleted one comment, but as a general rule I’ve been lucky, which is surprising. You can well imagine the reception they get from me I’m sure!
Sorry you couldn’t comment, Anonymum. He actually came back one more time to apologise for the initial comment, but all in all, not a pleasant experience.
Two blog friends recently complained of being attacked on other people’s blogs. One so ferociously that she shut down her own blog. I notice that men bloggers seem reluctant to close down attacking comments and rarely intervene when I would and I think most women would.
I also know a neonatologist who closed his blog because the comments got so out of hand that he could not write anything without streams of ugly argument in the comment section.
While blogging brings one in contact with an huge number of wonderful people it opens one to a whole other ugly world on occasion.
I generally don’t get this too often on QYDJ but I did recently get savaged slightly for indicating that I’ve always felt a certain character on a science fiction television series to be a lesbian. The responding person felt that I was attacking the actress and taking something away from her attractiveness and really went to town on my narrow mindedness.
I responded swiftly and decisively and pointed out that I also don’t think the actress is the role that she performs on TV at home and that they should not assume I mean lesbian in a negative connotation.
The way I figure it is that you have entered my house and you don’t really have the right to judge me based upon your initial peek through the window. Had one of the wonderful people who regularly comment on the site said it then I would have had to take stock of what I had said but they all know me and know that I’m a live and live kind of guy.
Pop Culture Heroines is a whole different affair though and that site is designed to open debate - I’d rather people just agree with me though LOL but as long as what they say is not sexist (completely wrong place for that!!!) or personal I invite the readers to challenge me and what has been said.
Guera: I did go back and have a look after reading this. You’re right, not nice overall. I was particularly amused that he even found the post given there were no names or anything…the cavalry came though, so that was good
JMB: A bit sad when people feel they have to shut down isn’t it? I think that last sentence of yours says it all. So true….
Lee: The way I figure it is that you have entered my house and you don’t really have the right to judge me based upon your initial peek through the window.
You’re dead right. Noone has the right to make an assumption based on a peek. Perhaps that’s the thing that gets me the most? Either that or the fact that it’s downright bad manners, which I really can’t tolerate either. If you ask to be challenged, that’s a different playing field altogether
To be challenged is one thing, to be abused another. I don’t think we should put up with anything we wouldn’t stand for in real life. Life’s too short! And as I get older, I just can’t be bothered with that sort of behaviour any more.
That’s quite interesting. Good post btw.
Thanks Bettina…
SnakyPoet: I agree…and yes, as i get older my tolerance levels for bad behavious such as this gets lower with each passing day…I’ve never been backward in coming forward, and the like of what I’m referring to here would last as long as it took me hit delete….just old and cranky is my problem I think
Me, I have never had trouble with people leaving ‘rude’ comments… though having said that I have a friend who had a person leaving a really nasty comment on her site and ever since that I had decided to start moderating… sometimes when someone may leave a comment they may put their email address on there… I will not publish that one to keep their address private… though I am like you… someone starts spamming and being nasty… I will be the first to delete them with the touch of a key… it is sad when you can’t do your little corner of the WWW and have someone leaving nasty comments on there…
Felicity: It is sad. I don’t know what some people’s minds work like to do it in the first place. The delete key can be your best frend sometimes I think…